A Typical Night

the family
is in the living room
laughing
and playing games.
i am standing
in the kitchen
feeling
as misplaced here
as i did there
without knowing
why.
i decide
to make another cup
of coffee.
i pour in the
half & half then
lean over
to watch it
create swirls around
the neck of the
spoon.
i remember a time
when i
quit coffee
for months. i
lean closer to smell
the steam.
a bowl of
clementines
(miniature oranges)
sits on the counter top.
earlier
i was surprised by
an unexpected urge to
pick one up and
throw it
as hard as i could
into the wall:
i don’t
have the slightest clue why.
i shake
my head at
the memory, then
pick up my mug of coffee
and carry it to
my room.

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